Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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