Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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