she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
