I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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