Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We got so high we made milksteak
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
MIDGETS
????
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
