6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
