Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
