i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
