Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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