Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
