is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ttyl tear gas
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
