If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
