What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
