Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
