then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
