I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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