so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
