I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
try to milk me bitch
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
