Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
