He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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