so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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