guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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