i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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