She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
