They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
