so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
