I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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