your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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