I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There's always time for handjobs
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
