just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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