The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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