A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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