Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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