i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i think i just lost a toe
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
