he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
