Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
