she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
