About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
