Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
