I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
