is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
