college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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