i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
