there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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