Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
