she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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