did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
