dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
