i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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