WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
