If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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