I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
